International Cat Show

That's right, I attended a cat show, and my dream of being a cat model has been officially crushed. The cats where bulimic, had whisker extensions and I think there was a fur weave or two.Oh well I'm secure with my body and don't need a ribbon to tell me how cute I am! Here are a few pictures of the festivities, notice the lack of black cats.

The Competition

Burt, Ernie and the the gayelles brewed beer today. Four humans in the house and no one paid much head to the pussycat! I even busted out some of my signature cute moves with no response. Lets see how much they like my cat pee IPA.
The first pic is me expressing my hatred toward brewing equipment, the second pic is the tub that has taken the spotlight.

Kitty Beef Cake

I had these glamor shots taken this weekend to help fulfill my life long dream of becoming a professional model. I figured that my cat next door looks already get me petting and a bottomless kibble bowl, why not cash in and make a few greenbacks. FYI I sneaked in a celebrity pic, can you find the impostor?

The Cat Came Back

It's been awhile since I've done a cut and paste post, but Sellwood Street's new entry reminded me about this video. It's seven minutes, so get comfy.

Smells Like Brown Menace

One of Bert and Ernie's acquisitions from the going away party was a very nice rug. Although this rug is aesthetically pleasing, it has the distinct smell of Brown Menace. Due to this "brown odor" I treat the rug as if it were hot lava. I know this is a bit extreme but once you get that smell on your paws it never comes out. The one good score was a asparagus fern, very tasty!

Poppers

I thought I would take time to introduce you to the Anna's Hummingbird. This bite sized bird comes to the feeder outside my bedroom window. The Anna's hummingbird is a year round resident here in Portland and one of the few hummingbirds that sing. Listen now to it's haunting melody.

An Update from Mortimer

One of my readers has pointed out that posts can only be commented on by Google users. This has been fixed, now everybody can comment. The only thing that I ask is that all responses work in one complement on how healthy and full my coat looks.

It's Hard to Say Goodbye

This weekend was the going away party for one of my feline friends Sydney. I regrettably had prior commitments and was not able to make it up to Seattle, but Bert and Ernie attended as my good will ambassadors. Sydney is giving up the grunge scene for the city of Indianapolis where the second coming is bound to happen any day. Bert did bring home some presents for me, I gained four new fur mice, one Kitty Hooch catnip mouse and unfortunately a puffy collar with little stars of David. I have the ominous feeling this collar is going on me though it would be better suited for a girl named Amber's scrunchy. The picture is Sydney busting a move to The Oodle Noodle.

Peaceful Protest

Last night I expressed my self though urination. Burt came home right on time, but my normal routine was thrown off by a living room full of humans. I knew I had to take action! I positioned myself strategically in plain sight of the mob and copped a squat. The outcome was exactly as I planed, the crowd dispersed and bedtime was achieved. I've resorted to this technique once in the past, protesting the poor conditions of my bathroom. That cesspool may have appeared adequate for human use, but trust me, a third world cat would not have used it. These experiences have proven that all life's dreams can be obtained though the power of pee.

Closet Hipster

Bert is sitting in the living room knitting to Belle and Sebastian. This is infuriating because no attention is being paid to me. In the beginning he would dangle the yarn enticing me to play, but now he's all business. Trends come and go, he should know that knitting went out with trucker hats, PBR, and white belts. Whats in? Playing with the cat. Now I'm going to go knock some books off the desk... OK that seemed to do the trick.

On The Lighter Side

OK, after my last post I need to look on the sunny side. I have to admit the guilt of killing something really spurred my creative juices. So what better than mustachio door knob's. Here's a sampling of my art, thanks.

Dirty Rat

Today Bert poisoned my rats. Well they're not really mine, but they do live under my bird feeders. These rodents have taken up residence in the asphalt crevices only a foot from my favorite window. At first there was one, (which was cute) but then it had to go and invite all of its extended family. I don't believe killing these cute little critters is the right answer, but it starts with three rats and then boom, you're living in London during sixteen hundreds. Why couldn't it have been an infestation of bunnies?

Voyeurism

I was minding my own business on the way home from feeding poor and needy cats this morning, and caught this gent bathing himself in plain sight. I might not have noticed if this public bath was not taking place atop a light and framed perfectly by two shrubs. The exhibitionist paused a moment taking note of me, but then continued with the sordid display. I would like to think that he was a cat from the art school doing his thesis, but something tells me he was a stray trying to stay warm and was too high on "the nip" to care who saw his sinful act.

A Word from Mortimer

One of my readers has commented that I don't type very much. This is due to the fact that I'm declawed, (I would like to see him type without using his fingers!) This is why I rely on many keyboard shortcuts, such as Ctrl-C and Ctrl-V. The other reason is I'm a cat and on occasion have been known to be lazy hence the clips from the internet. I may not have much to say, but that doesn't mean I don't have something to meow about.

It's Over

The holidays have come and gone. Now all that's left is a big empty space where my tree was. I enjoyed my x-mass tree and I will miss hiding under it and eating it's tasty branches, but time passes and as all good things, this x-mass is gone. Here are a few pics of me helping put the holidays to rest.