Thursday, July 31, 2008

44 pound cat needs a new home!

Wednesday, July 30th 2008, 4:59 PM

BLACKWOOD, N.J. - Two television talk shows are reportedly welcoming the latest fat cat to come to New York.Princess Chunk is a 44-pound feline found wandering the southern New Jersey community of Voorhees last Saturday.She's so "purrfectly" big, an animal shelter had to weigh her on a doggie scale. She’s only a couple pounds lighter than the heaviest cat on record.The Camden County Animal Shelter has been looking for her owner and trying to get the cat on a diet.But now, she's headed to New York. She's scheduled to appear Thursday on "Live with Regis and Kelly," according to the show’s publicist.And the animal shelter says she’ll be on "Good Morning America" Friday.The cat's owners have until Saturday to reclaim her; then, she'll be up for adoption.

Update! The owners have been found, sorry no chunky cat for you.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008


Burt has a new nickname for me and I love it! He has started calling me "house panther," I think that fits my personality perfectly. I'm every thing a panther is but in a condensed form that fits nicely in the house, its simply genius. I'm really ecstatic that it's replaced my old nick name of "concentrated evil."


Thursday, July 24, 2008

cats on a treadmill

I think this might be better than the human version preformed by OK GO.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Catster Sucks

I have been on Catster for over a month and I only have three friends! That's right, three! I figured that I would join and have more friends than a cat in heat, but no, I have nothing. So Catster, screw you, I don't need you with your fun groups and fabulous friends, I'm a Portland cat and march to the beat of my own drum. Shame on me for being friend greedy in the first place, and plus with all my real friends I probably wouldn't have time for all the fake friends that I thought I would make on Caster. So in the end I win, I'm exclusive and fabulously under appreciated.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Friday, July 18, 2008

Double Your Pleasure

I found this image on totally looks like and had to make an emergeny trip to the litter box. Separated at birth or photoshop, you decide.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Mind Control

I have resorted to mind control with B&E. My hopes are this will lead to more tuna!

Tuna Tuna Tuna Tuna Tuna Tuna Tuna Tuna Tuna Tuna Tuna

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Atheist Kitty Cat

I have recently discovered the existence of the cat afterlife, and to my horror it has to do with rainbows. Its called crossing the rainbow bridge (aka dirt nap).

The Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of heaven is a place called the Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to the Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; his eager body begins to quiver. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together.....

Here's a video version that made Bert a little misty. rainbowbridge

You might not know I suffer from Impending Death Syndrome so I feel that my last wishes need to be known. I, Mortimer D Cats, being of sound mind and healthy coat wish to be cremated and placed in an urn with no less then two pieces of string. This urn shall be moved frequently to strategic locations i.e. in the middle of textbooks, in the middle of the kitchen when B&E are cooking, also in the center of the bed during hours of sleep. Twice a week I request that my urn be set upon at least one houseplant in a manner to do maximum damage. And finally I request the edges of my urn be sharpened so Burt's hand always shall be scratched, even after my demise.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008


From a recent comment on my blog it looks like Ernie has a friend out there in cyberland from his days slinging essential oils. This anonymous poster is from a local company that has nothing to to with cat food or toys so it is of no interest to me. All things conciderd they do make a good product that occupies drooling mouths, I'll have B&E stop by next time they're at Saturday Market.

Put a Snook in it

Game Show

The Meow Mix sponsored game show "Think Like Your Cat" is auditioning potential contestants in Portland on July 19-20. I will be having no part in this, but if I can get a press pass I will send B&E to check it out and report back. For more information follow this link to Think Like Your Cat. If someone happens to have a press pass laying around send it on over.

Friday, July 4, 2008

4TH of July

I want everyone to know how much I love America. I know recently that my patriotism has been called into question but as you can see by my collar, I truly love this land!