Thursday, July 10, 2008

Atheist Kitty Cat

I have recently discovered the existence of the cat afterlife, and to my horror it has to do with rainbows. Its called crossing the rainbow bridge (aka dirt nap).

The Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of heaven is a place called the Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to the Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; his eager body begins to quiver. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together.....

Here's a video version that made Bert a little misty. rainbowbridge

You might not know I suffer from Impending Death Syndrome so I feel that my last wishes need to be known. I, Mortimer D Cats, being of sound mind and healthy coat wish to be cremated and placed in an urn with no less then two pieces of string. This urn shall be moved frequently to strategic locations i.e. in the middle of textbooks, in the middle of the kitchen when B&E are cooking, also in the center of the bed during hours of sleep. Twice a week I request that my urn be set upon at least one houseplant in a manner to do maximum damage. And finally I request the edges of my urn be sharpened so Burt's hand always shall be scratched, even after my demise.

3 comments:

Whicky Wuudler said...

It's so important to have one's affairs in order Mortimer. I'm sorry to read of the Impending Death Syndrome, but hope that you have a huge amount of time left in which to boss B&E about in whatever manner you see fit ;)

The Crew said...

It's good to make your wishes known, but how can you be sure they'll be followed? I suggest taking matters into your own paws and doing all these things NOW. Why wait until it's too late?

Syd. said...

That was much more tolerable in German.